Marriage Issues After the First Child

Nothing is more life changing than having your first child. Unfortunately, a new child can make or break your marriage. Many couples seem to thrive on having a family, while others seem to falter. There’s no way to predetermine which parents are going to thrive on the experience and which are going regret it.

No amount of preparation can ever prepare you for being a parent, but often marriage issues after the first child can create or add to the discord between a couple. There can be many common issues that occur.
Postpartum depression. This is a real condition that affects some women after giving birth and can play a factor in friction between a couple. A woman may be experiencing unfamiliar hormonal changes and become depressed.  She wonders if something is wrong with her when she’s not happy or bonding with her new baby. A man may not be understanding of this condition and resent her for it.

Exhaustion.  Both parents may be exhausted as they try to balance their lives with a new baby.  Babies have a lot of demands in the first months after birth – needing to be fed every two or three hours, diaper changes, bathing and  constant attention. Exhaustion and the constant focus on the baby can lead the parents into feeling that their own needs aren’t being met. The blame will be placed on the other parent, rather than on the small child, who is supposed to be a bundle of joy.

No Together Time.  The couple may feel like they’re drifting apart, as there is no together time left anymore. There may be little time for sex, or the woman may be too exhausted. The man may feel like his needs aren’t being met. Even if both parents are on board for spending more time together, it can often be hard to schedule.

Jealousy.  Sounds funny, but true that one parent may be jealous that one parent seems to love the baby more than them.  This is completely natural. It’s a different type of love that may be a new feeling for both parents. But it’s possible that there may be some resentment as a result of it.

Even though there may be friction in the marriage, often a new bond has also been created, just like when you were dating, or the first few times you had sex together. The more time you spend with your baby, the more chances you’ll bond more deeply.

Marriage problems are normal, and the couple shouldn’t be made to feel worse about them. There’s no amount of preparation you can do for all these new feelings that you’re going to be experiencing upon the birth of your new child. Don’t be afraid to ask for help, if your new baby is overwhelming your life, and affecting how you are living with your partner.

If you are feeling overwhelmed contact Hidden Stream Counseling for assistance at 919-307-3805.

Tips on Repairing Trust in Your Marriage

The foundation to a lasting marriage includes trust. On the wedding day, a couple make vows that are based on trust, with each partner being assured that the other will always be faithful, loyal and honest. It is therefore not surprising, that when that trust is disturbed in a marriage, it is very difficult to repair and rebuild it. In a number of marriages, a breach of trust will almost certainly lead to a divorce; but this need not be the case. Here are some tips on repairing the trust in your marriage.

Confession is good for the soul

The road to repairing trust in a marriage begins with a full confession of the wrong that has been done by one or both partners in a marriage. This is an opportunity to put it all on the table. Deciding to tell some of the “truth” and hiding the rest can only lead to more distrust and will significantly jeopardize any attempts to repair the marriage. While this process of professing it all can be hard, it is necessary.

Seek and receive forgiveness

Forgiveness can be hard to give to a partner who has breached the trust in a marriage, but there can be no progress if there is no forgiveness. Forgiveness means that the party at wrong has approach the other in remorse seeking to have his or her slate cleaned and the party who was wronged begins the healing process by giving the other that gift of starting afresh. There can be no real repair of trust if the forgiveness is only lip service. A person who is forgiven must not be reminded daily of his or her actions that was “forgiven”.

Change behavior

When repairing trust in a marriage, the partner at wrong must display behavior that is keeping with someone who is regretful of his or her actions and is willing to make a change. Even where no ill intentions are being pursued, all actions must be evaluated for its authenticity and transparency. A change of behavior must reassure the other partner, that there is no need to worry about a breach in trust again.

Consider marriage counseling

Marriage counseling by a trained professional in handling and managing couples through marital issues is a great option to pursue when repairing the trust in your marriage. A breach of trust will naturally leave one or both partners not believing in anything that is being said or done by the other in the quest to repair the marriage. In marriage counseling, a marriage counselor will be able to guide the couple in exercises and useful techniques that will significantly help with repairing the trust. While some couples might have reservations about marriage counseling, it is a valuable outside tool that can repair the trust.

Renew your vows

There is no better way to display a commitment to each other and a reestablishing of the trust by renewing your vows. This ceremony represents a new beginning and also rekindles that first love feeling.

If you would like to speak with a marriage counselor, contact Hidden Stream Counseling call 919-307-3805.

How A Marriage Counselor Can Help Marriages

Marriage Counselor Raleigh

It takes a lot of work to make a relationship of any kind work. This is especially true when it comes to maintaining a healthy and strong marriage. Many people, around the world, seek out the services of a marriage counselor. Also known as couples therapy, this is a form of psychotherapy that is designed to help couples of all kinds identify and address conflicts in their relationship in order to improve their companionship.

Generally, these services are offered by licensed therapists, family or marriage. They have received a postgraduate or graduate degrees and usually have credentials to practice on a professional level. Most of these counseling services are done for a short period of time. Usually both people in the relationships work closely with the therapists. Sessions may include both partners, as well as one-on-one sessions with the therapists at some point in the process.

The services offered will vary by each situation. This counseling can help people in all kinds of relationships that are intimate, including married, homosexual, heterosexual or those just dating. Couples often seek this out in order to strengthen bonds and better understand one another. This can also help those looking to get married. Premarital counseling has been known to help couples grow closer, achieve greater understanding, and sort out differences before making a big commitment.

Reasons people seek these services range. Often it is because there are some troubles in the relationship, which may include: problems with communication, infidelity, sexual difficulties, anger, conflicts with rearing of children or blending families, financial issues or substance abuse. This type of aid can also be helpful for domestic abuse problems.

Results will vary based on many factors. People who are open and committed to the process are likely to see positive changes. It may take some time for changes to be noticeable, especially if the problems are deeply rooted.

Many like having the outside, unbiased perspective from these professionals. Costs will range and may be covered by some insurance plans. People should seek out the best available locally considering reviews, costs, services, credentials and other details.

Hidden Stream Counseling has a qualified marriage counselor on staff to help with your needs. Call them at 919-307-3805